I am sure that you all know the end to that popular saying, and I have been working very hard to make lemonade for the last month! Without boring you with too much detail, it started with a raging kidney infection which had me bed-bound for 4-days, and that ran straight into a serious gynaecology issue (compounded by my other health issues) which saw me bleed so profusely for 2.5 weeks that I became critically anaemic, needed an emergency ambulance, and been left feeling worse than I have ever felt in my life.
But this is not a sob story or pity party, and in amongst those apparent disasters I have been reminded of my own strength and how much resilience I have inside. That courage and determination enables me to get on in life rather than be knocked off track when these things seemingly inevitably come along.
I don’t accept feeling sorry for myself, and instead I have some tips and techniques which I like to use to keep my mental focus and positivity in the face of adversity. I want to share them with you here so perhaps you can benefit when you are next facing an unexpected difficulty in your life.
Always, always, show up!
Believe me, there have been plenty of times over the last three weeks where I could very easily have cancelled my classes and stayed in bed. Some may even say that it would have been the right option, but I believe that my actions set an example, and I lead from the front. Every day, I have made it into my studio with the express intention of staying as long as I could, even if it turned out to be just one class, and each time I have successfully made it to the end of the day. One class at a time!
My mission in life is always to show up and do my best, whether I feel like it or not. I don’t want to start giving myself excuses, as I know that it’s a slippery slope which leads to complacency and poor results. Whether it is my nutrition, my exercise, my business or my hobbies, I know that if I am to reach my goals it won’t always be easy and obstacles will occur. I can let them stop me, or put in more effort to overcome them. Sometimes when you least feel like it, the biggest breakthroughs occur.
Equally, it takes consistency and dedication for my clients to get results with their fitness and fat loss goals, and if I ask it of them, it is important that I show the way. I may not have a perfect figure, super-clean nutrition or a flawlessly healthy lifestyle, but I will be the best that I can be – even if it is a wreck that can’t stand up and spends the day sitting on a chair in my own studio rather than to let my clients down. I know that growth comes from adversity, and that this hiccup is just that in the bigger picture, so I will be back to my best self as soon as possible.
Keep perspective
It could be easy for me to be angry or resentful about my situation, this being yet another significant health difficulty over the last few years, and equally the time it is taking to get any form of resolution. But I’m not. Yes, it’s a frustrating process, but I know that ultimately the NHS will work its magic and help me to feel better.
Honestly, if I’d been born in one of the less developed countries of the world, I would have died from my congenital heart disease years ago. My two open-heart surgeries have given me the opportunity to live an amazing life, to have remarkable experiences, and the ability to still plan for a fulfilling future.
This current crisis will ultimately pass, just like the others. Even in my darkest moments I have always rationalised that things could be worse. Last year’s stroke could have done a darn sight worse than rob me of the sight in one eye, this similarly this episode could have caused me to bleed to death or have a heart attack. I am still here to tell the tale.
Every day in my studio I am blessed with the opportunity to work with people who are facing their own medical challenges, who could have every excuse to have given up and sat at home feeling sorry for themselves, yet they don’t. Instead, they come and share their laughter and spirit with others and we all feel elevated and supported by each other. I gain way more in return than I ever give out, and feel unbelievably lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do.
I have clients with terminal cancer, others with breathing problems which reduce their life expectancy to just a few years, and yet more who’ve survived multiple life-threatening illnesses and surgeries. It never ceases to inspire and give me hope when people who have every ‘right’ to give up and feel sorry for themselves, instead chose to embrace life harder and make the most of everything it has to offer.
Find the positives
One of the tactics I like to employ when facing any form of obstacle which challenges my mindset, is to spend time focussing on the good things which have happened because of that experience. Sometimes it is hard when you’re up to your eyeballs in the swamp with the alligators to see any form of positive from your current situation, but I find that to do so is one of the most empowering things I can do to enable me to accept it and move on as quickly as possible.
ONE – I got to ride in an ambulance! So that might seem like a funny one as it was honestly not a life ambition which I wanted to fulfil, but it was enlightening to see the amazing work of our NHS from the emergent end. The two ambulance men were prompt, courteous, attentive, filled with humour, comforting and most of all, professional. They took great care of me and delivered me to A&E with efficiency and charm. There is so much negativity about the NHS, and I think it pays to be reminded that in spite of its obvious flaws and pressures, we have a remarkable organisation which saves and improves lives 24/7/365.
TWO – I have been reminded me how kind people truly are, and what a wonderful society we live in. I’ve received bunches of flowers, some yummy sweet treats, multiple offers of help, and genuine concern for my welfare from my clients, family and friends. All of it has been unexpected and much appreciated, even if as a fiercely independent soul I have found it hard to accept with the graciousness that I should. Only yesterday, a prospective new client who I had only spoken to once on the telephone, and was scheduled to come and see me on Friday for their first class until I was forced to cancel on them at the last minute, texted me to see how I was doing. I already felt guilty for letting them down, and then they showed compassion and care for a relative stranger. It truly is a beautiful world we live in and it is too easy for the many negative news messages to skew our view. Forget the terrorism, murder, crime, hatred and greed – the vast majority of the human race is generous and kind and it pays to remind ourselves of that!
THREE – Being forced to spend a lot of time resting at home, I’ve dedicated myself to study and learning. I have finally, after two years of procrastination, completed my Precision Nutrition advanced nutrition course and will be ready to launch my revamped nutrition coaching programme within the next few months. I have also completed a storytelling course, a precursor to expanding my public speaking work later in the year. What could have been seen as lost opportunity, has in fact turned out to be a surprisingly productive time. Sure, I would rather have been out riding my bike, preparing for the triathlon season ahead (now firmly on the back burner) or enjoying the spring weather, but my time certainly hasn’t been wasted.
So, what can you learn from my journey over the last month? Is there a situation in your life which has been dragging you down and needs a new perspective? Have you been letting yourself off the hook, when you really need to show up and make a start towards a goal? Maybe it’s exercise, nutrition, a relationship, your work, your friends… or a different area in your life where you just know that you’re letting yourself down. Or perhaps I can prompt you to spend time finding some positives in a difficult situation which is challenging you right now.
I promise that it not easy for me either, but over the years these little techniques and attitude adjustments have given me an added resilience in the face of seemingly frequent obstacles. A coach I work with, Pete Cohen says, ‘you are either moving away from a challenge, are currently in the midst of a challenge, or moving towards your next challenge at any moment in your life’. Some may see that as a negative observation, but to me it gives me the courage to realise that I am not alone in my struggles, and although my exact experiences may be unique to me, we are all in this journey of life together and it is not easy for anyone. It’s not about what happens to us, but how we deal with it that defines us.
Your ‘feeling better every day’ coach,
Beth
PS – For your daily dose of inspiration please check out ‘Mi365 – Pete Cohen’ on Facebook and listen in to his daily broadcasts at 7am.
